📦
Terminated

Escorted From The Building

The CEO called it a "mutual decision". It was not mutual. Your CISO sent a four-page email to the board the night before. Your CFO presented a slide titled "Cumulative Cost of Poor Judgment" with exactly one bar chart and zero ambiguity. Your CPO said nothing — their silence was louder than any email. Security walked you out carrying a cardboard box containing a cactus, a World's Okayest CIO mug, and the shattered remains of a two-year strategy.

"We thank them for their service and wish them well." — The All-Staff Email (sent at 6:47am, before you arrived)

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